War Dog, aka Bob, retired Hobbit Catcher and prime hunt dog for Lord Roxy
Yup, that old devil, War Dog has been up to his tricks again. Just when you thought he was ‘past it’ or maybe retiring, he proves there is ‘life in the old dog’ yet. Out for our morning training session whilst on hol, here in Norfolk, discussing as you do, precisely how we would rustle up the sausage, bacon egg & mushrooms for breakfast on our return to the barn.
Took my scouting eye off the killing fields in front of me, as I was lost in my own thoughts of things to come, promises made……! when ‘Flash ooh ooh ooh’, Master of the Universe, NOT; NO NOT Flash Gordon, but my old War Dog was Off…..
Well my head snapped round so quickly trying to follow his trajectory, that Long Sufferin nearly collided with me and she in turn moved quicker than she does when there is a BOGOFF goin at Tescos. By now her wig had slipped and was caught by a gust of that strong westerly wind that blows in off the coast, up here in Norfolk. The wig flew off in the direction of poor old War Dog. Well, the poor little lamb thought all his birthdays had come at once. Here he was ‘hot on the heels of ‘what at first glance looked like a HUGE HARE and now not one, but two Hares were teasing him. Now I could see he was just a bit confused and undecided as to which beast to chase. Would you believe it; he made the wrong choice and lunged at Long Sufferin’s Wig. Well I ain’t too sure if it was the hairspray or just that it hadn’t been washed for eight months (Long Sufferin is trying to cultivate that Swampy image) but the smell put him off and like an Exocet missile, it was beautiful to watch, he designated the other target, changed direction and honed in on the HUGE HARE. Well that Hare didn’t jig and change direction as I would have expected it to and rather than catch up then let War Dog overshoot, it looked like War Dog was going to latch onto the beast kinda early – game over! Anyway, the little blighter suddenly released some chaff, which of course confused War Dog, changed direction and veered back towards Long Sufferin’s Wig. The HARE clearly possesed intelligence. I could see it’s intent as clearly as the early morning sun was reflecting of Long Sufferin’s pate laid bare following the removal of her wig. The cunning devil was going to mask it’s scent with Long Sufferin’s wig. Well it’s at that point as the HARE approached me at speed, that I discovered to my amazement; this was no HARE but a Chinese Water Deer!
Water Deer
These little babies are actually quite small and from a distance can look like a large Hare. Now I could see War Dog was starting to flag, his nose and chin were all scraped from crashing through the gorse, and well just from the hot pursuit really.
Luckily, I managed to halt War Dog as he stumbled over Long Sufferin’s Wig, now cast off by the Water Deer. Once War Dog had recovered from the exertion of the hunt and said Deer had made good it’s escape I asked War Dog what he thought he was playing at, chasing that little Chinese Water Deer. You know what he said? ”Well as you had Indian for dinner last night, I though I might treat you to a Chinese Takeaway tonight, but it was obviously too deer for my pocket“!
Not sure if the amber nectar had been imbibed before this little tale was written or is it me?
Every work of it is true.